3 Ways For Nurses To Own Their Worth And Tap Into Limitless Potential

For the longest time I thought I was living and owning my worth, both in my nursing career and in my personal life. I never really questioned it or gave it much thought. As a sucker for self-help books and motivational speakers to pump up my days, I never quite understood the “knowing your worth” aspect of what these people were so often talking about.

I would think, “of course I’m worthy…. next subject…”

I was a stressed out nurse, wife and mom – and the whole worthiness talk really didn’t do it for me. As a nurse for many years I felt confident in that skin, but as I looked around and got really honest with myself, the time I spent feeling stressed out, overworked and totally exhausted at a certain point, exceeded the times I felt vibrant, energized and genuinely happy with what I was doing.

I was drained with a capital D. My justification for this was always that it was just part of the job, and part of anyone’s role as a nurse. We’re all tired. To a certain extent this is true – but there’s a limit to this truth that I didn’t see for way too long, and it tripped me up in ways I couldn’t see at the time. Over time, I learned it actually had a whole lot to do with my self-worth… and if you can relate to feeling depleted, frustrated or even burned out in your career, this may be the case for you, too.

I’ll explain.

Self-Worth Is Tricky

Self worth can be a tricky concept. It goes much deeper than the surface and I’ll speak for myself when I say it can show up in ways – especially in the world of nursing, that you’re not conscious of. I think for nurses this is especially important to recognize because it’s so easy to get caught in a cycle of trying to prove your worth, opposed to owning it.

And that’s exactly where I found myself; proving to everyone else that I could do it all, cover it all, show up to it all, add to it all – until one day I literally crashed and burned. I completely burned myself out.

The thing about proving your worth is it’s often with good intention. I never ran around thinking to myself I needed to prove anything to anyone; but, on the surface, it’s exactly what I was doing because to me, it felt good to be that person for everyone. But at the end of the day, this was to my own demise… have you ever found yourself in a position like this?

It’s not pretty, and it’s definitely not fun to admit BUT there is no use in sugar coating it! I write about these raw, unfiltered realities of nursing that are often brushed under the rug, because the nurses who are mentally, emotionally or spiritually suffering or who have suffered in similar ways deserve to hear that they’re not alone. AND YOU, if you’re NOT in these shoes (and I really hope you’re not), deserve to NEVER be in those shoes.

Here’s the thing –

Nurses are givers. You are a giver of your time, love, energy, compassion, empathy, courage, and strength. You give to everyone in your life all day, every day. If you’re a mom and/or have a husband or wife on top of being a nurse – you’re basking in this reality.

Nurses don’t mind being nurturing, right? It’s part of your make up to be and often why you do what you do. Nurturing comes naturally to you and really, it feels good to give so freely to other people. There’s no doubting that.

I’m not sure about you, but one thing that never came naturally to me was how to NOT over-do it in these scenerios. If like me, you live a life of an over-doer and an overachiever, it’s against your nature to do things like set boundaries, say no or make drastic changes in your work or life because it’s what’s best for YOU (and maybe not everyone else).

It takes some serious courage to do these things because at first, none of it feels as good as making other people happy before yourself. BUT in time, what does happen is you regain your energy, you have more spark, you’re not working from a place of depletion and you can give SO much more freely to others than ever before because your CUP to pour from literally overflows. The thing I’ve learned the hard way about tipping from a cup that’s running dry is eventually it has no choice but to tip over and break. When your cup is full, this just doesn’t happen as easily.

We’re going to dive into what I feel are the top 3 areas that when prioritized for nurses, can be seriously life changing.

No. 1: Nurses Are Worthy Of Boundaries

I never saw myself unworthy of creating boundaries… I just didn’t have many of them, because having them meant I’d likely be upsetting someone important in my life and I would avoid that at all costs.

Honestly, for the longest time, I didn’t even know how to set up boundaries. It’s never something I was raised doing, so my prior life experience didn’t give me much practice in this department.

What about you? There’s zero shame in it. In fact, it’s super important to recognize and to work on because creating boundaries alone can pour SO much energy back into your life where you didn’t even realize it was leaking out. AND – it can be a lot easier than you think.

My lack of boundaries was one of my biggest pitfalls that led me to feeling totally depleted.

Have you ever had that feeling where you’re starting to become a little overwhelmed in a situation or a day or a job, and someone asks something extra of you? Your to do list is already a mile long, so you kind of cringe inside, and your stomach turns and tightens because you know you can’t handle much more on your plate – BUT, this person is in a bind and the ask is super small…it’s just this one thing… and if you are capable of figuring it out and making it happen for them.

In fact, it’s easier to handle it than it is say no. SO, you say, yes and free that person up from their bind only to find yourself trying to do what feels like acrobats on a tight rope… in high heels. You kind of feel like crying, you’re mad at yourself for saying yes, YET again, BUT at the same time just do what you need to do without much complaint because if you’re honest, you don’t have time to complain (and who’s listening, anyway)?

You get it done. The people around you know you CAN get it done. They trust you and you are their GO TO. They don’t know how you do it all but they know you can and really, you handle it so well in their eyes. BUT underneath it all, you’re sort of not handling it well.

This can be true for anyone but it’s ESPECIALLY true for nurses. On one hand, it feels GOOD to be this person for people. But consider checking your motives AND your energy stores (and be honest with YOURSELF). There is a huge difference between being RELIABLE and trying to subconsciously prove your worth by pleasing everyone around you.

I got those 2 confused for years, so if you can relate, just know that you’re 1000% worthy of setting up some boundaries to protect yourself, your energy and what’s truly MOST important to you. At first it will feel far from natural; it will be hard. But once realize you’re gaining energy BACK consistently by holding yourself to your own boundaries, you won’t want to go back to that once familiar place.

Where do you start? Try starting with the 3 things that are most important to you. Get super clear on what those things are, and set up boundaries around them. Protect those boundaries with everything you’ve got and be witness to how you feel and how your life begins to change for the better.

You May Also Enjoy These Posts:

• From Nurse Burnout To Balance: How to Support Your Mental Wellness With Affirmation Cards (Yes, Seriously)
• The Nurses Spirit: What It Is And How To Use It To Live Happier
• 5 Biggest Lies Nurses Tell Themselves That Keep Them Exhausted

No. 2: Nurses Are Worthy Of A Job They Love

Feeling unworthy of a job you love can show up like:

• Sticking to the same place of employment even when you don’t really like it; or worse, it’s making you pretty miserable.
• Not moving on from a place you think you may have outgrown because you’re afraid things will fall apart if you leave (how will they ever do it without you)??
• Sucking it up in a certain role for way too long, miserable, for the money.

OK – I know some of these may feel a bit confrontational, especially staying in a role for the money. Who am I to say? I don’t know your financial situation; I’m not paying your bills. I get that. But I’d never dish out advice I haven’t been through and then been brave enough to overcome myself. EVER.

I’ve been there, too AND I get how scary it can be to take leaps like this into the unknown. I’ve been terrified to make change, even when I know it’s for the best. Nurses are notorious for resisting CHANGE. We like what we know even when it’s to our own detriment. Just think about the general reaction of the nurses at work when administration decides it’s time to change your charting platform. TOTAL and utter dread, chaos and digging in of all the nurses heels, am I right?!

Change is tough of nurses, but nurses are tough humans. And let me set something straight, I think nurses resist even change that will make their lives better not because there is something wrong with you or you’re lacking the courage or strength to do so – but really quite the opposite.

As a nurse you were designed to be one of the strongest most courageous humans on the planet. Seriously. Think about what you’re up against every single day. It takes a really special person. So when the going gets tough, by design you don’t run away, you hunker down and stick it out.

This is an amazing quality to have. Sometimes though, the line in the sand becomes a bit blurred when it comes to how hard you need to hang on to something that may be actually limiting you and your ability to do the work you came here to do.

Feeling energetically depleted, consistently negative, frustrated or burning out are all signs that you have officially crossed that line and it may be time to loosen your grip in order to explore once again what you can do to be LIT up by your work once again.

You are worthy from moving on from ANY job that is making you miserable, no matter what’s holding you there; even if the other nurses you work with have been there for years and you feel like there’s something wrong with you for not wanting to do the same, even if it feels like you’re going against the grain, ESPECIALLY if it feels like you’re doing against the grain.

Nursing is a calling. Every job you hold you are called to, no matter the timeframe you are there. If there is resistance happening within you related to work, consider it a message from your inner, highest self giving you the nudge that you’re being called to your next role.

Even though the leap is hard, it can be one of the most fulfilling things you can do to pour good, positive energy back into your life.

No. 3: Nurses Are Worthy Of A THRIVING Life

Seriously. I’m a firm believer in that you aren’t here to be working and living out your days even slightly miserable. Sure, you’re entitled to your off days, bad days and days that have everyone and everything on your last nerve; I know I sure have those days!

BUT overall, I’ve learned to thrive and you can, too. I’ve tripped up, stumbled and fallen on my path to get there, in part I think to help nurses like you to avoid doing the same. And what I’ve found is that the formula is pretty simple when it comes to your nursing career. I’ve outlined it in great detail in this free guide – but here’s the jist of it…

Your life as a nurse and the work you are here to do is unique. It’s uniquely your journey. The nursing journey is one that although you share it with so many people – your co-workers, your patients, their families… where you go and how you get there is completely up to you.

It’s totally independent of others.

You are the captain of your own ship and you are in charge of your own happiness. When you take a second to pause and not resist that statement, and actually embrace its truth – it can be pretty liberating; at least it has been for me.

Your role as a nurse doesn’t need to look like everyone else’s. It doesn’t need to be text book. It can BE whatever you want it to be. We live in a world that is rapidly changing around us, and nurses are needed in so many different capacities today. You are worthy of believing in your ability to take your own journey down whatever path you see fit for your life; whatever path protects and supports what is most important to you. If I can do it, I promise you, so can you.

Dream A Little Nursing Dream

So – what do you think? Are you owning your worth as BEST as you can right now? If you’ve realized maybe you’re not and you deserve to do better – I challenge you to take the first step. What does that first step look like for you?

For me, it looked like turning inward and being still. Sometimes when you don’t know what to do, (especially when you feel like running fast in the other direction), the best thing to do is just be still. It’s in the stillness that you hear your own inner voice the loudest.

I once had a very wise nurse educator tell me that you should never run AWAY from work in nursing. When it’s time to make a change, instead – run TOWARDS what it is you want. Running away will never do what running towards something can.

If you find yourself in a position of feeling like something is missing, having dreams in your career not yet fulfilled, stuck and wishing for something to just give already – here’s your own personal sign from the universe that you’ve totally got this! Go out and get after what you came here for!

If you’re looking for a way to authentically connect with what it is you’re really in search of, check out the reflection card deck I created specifically for nurses to do just this here.